First Time to the Beach
No Remarks |Today I went to the beach to clear my mind. It has been really stressful with everything that has been going on and I needed to just get away from everything. I didn’t have a very good night. I found myself once again crying myself to sleep because of all the stress and how much I miss my sons.
The beach was beautiful and peaceful and I felt much better when after spending time there. I took a lot of pictures of the ocean and collected some seashells to send to Elijah and Destin. *Sigh* Only 11 days left…
I just completed my new Florida layout today since I finally found the time to take some pictures of the ocean. It’s beautiful…almost better than this layout, but this will always be my favorite because my beautiful boys are featured on it. I will be launching the new layout either next week or the beginning of next month.
On to the next subject…
[Private Content Removed]
Sorry for the private content, but I feel like I still have those unwanted readers who are probably still reading my blog to try to reek havoc into my life because they have no life.
Well, I’m tired now so I’m going to whine down and get some rest.
Time is Winding Down
No Remarks |Today I’m trying to finish up on a lot of the things regarding this apartment so it won’t be much to do when it’s time to move out. I really want to get these walls finished by this weekend so that will be one less thing to do. Painting the walls back is the biggest project. Other than that I’ve been packing things little by little and throwing stuff out that I no longer need or want. I hate have extra clutter around that I don’t use taking up space.
I’ve still been saving as much as I can so I can have at least $3500 before moving in October. The actually day I will be out is September 31st to be exact.
In September I’ll start with the spot cleaning and deodorizing of the carpet, cleaning the stove and fridge out again, and sweeping, moping, and wiping down surfaces.
It seems like I’m cleaning this stupid apartment everyday and then the next day there’s still more to clean. These kids have really done this place a job with all the crumbs and scraps of paper. Well actually the one solely responsible for all that is Destin. All the crumbs and carpet stains that I have to clean up were all done by him. He’s really a handful. Destin makes you not want any more kids. He’s like 15 kids in one.
Had a dream about horses last night. One was beautiful with a blond mane and she was brown and white. The other one was bronze with a jet black mane. Both horses was given to me for free and I was hoping to get one more to give to Destin since the white and brown one was mine and the bronze one was Elijah’s. I wonder what that dream meant?
A few nights ago I also had a dream about a German shepherd dog that was pretty vicious and was trying to attack me, but then later became fond of me and I couldn’t keep the dog away. When I was growing up I used to play with a German shepherd everyday named “Boom Boom” so I don’t know what that dream meant either.
What a Night!
No Remarks |Last night I had three different dreams…
The first dream I hadĀ I was back at my Mom’s house and I was getting ready to go to bed. Before going to bed I started praying asking God for forgiveness for my sins. Then I went to sleep. It was like a movie because I woke up and it was the next morning I think. I was up for a few minutes and then suddenly I heard a loud noise coming from the sky. I ran to the window to see what it was, but I couldn’t see it because of the tree branches. Even though I couldn’t see it I knew what it was [It was Satan falling from the heavens]. Sirens started going off and there was red lights flashing!Ā I grabbed Destin and held him close to me and ran in the hallway when I heard Satan strike the Earth. Suddenly a strong force of wind came towards my Mom’s house shattering the windows. I turned my back towards the door I was behind and held Destin close, protecting him from all the glass that was inĀ the air. When it was over I ran downstairs to see if everyone was okay. While I was running down the stairs I began praying for the Holy Spirit to protect me and Destin and I pleaded the blood of Jesus over both of us. When I saw my Dad he was still blinded from the truth and he went outside. I don’t know where he was going or what happened to him. I went to my Mom and she knew what it was that hit the Earth too. I just knew we were going to die, but I didn’t care. I only cared about where I was going to go when I did to die and I only wanted to be with Jeremy when that time came. I asked my Mom for the keys to her car so I can go to Jeremy and she gave them to me.
Then I woke up and woke Jeremy up and told him about my dream, started crying a littile and went back to sleep.
The next dream I had was pointless. I know it came from watching Amistad before I went to sleep. In the dream I was trying to convince this man to let these 3 African women go back to Africa. I convinced him and I aiding the women on their journey back to Africa.
The next dream was a bit disturbing and sexual. I rather not share the whole dream, but I will give you a brief summary. In the dream a guy was trying to have sex with me. I refused and he tried to force me. The next thing I know I’m beating the guy over the head with a coffee pot with all my might until he stopped moving. IĀ then grabbed my jacket and ran out the door leaving him on the floor.
The first dream I believe was from God because I was praying to him a lot in the dream. Have you ever found yourself praying in your sleep? I have many of times. Anyways I believe God is trying to tell me to come closer to him. Closer to him than ever before. He doesn’t want me the way I am right know. Also the dream just proved to me how much I really do love Jeremy. I love him so much that when I knew I was going to die, he was the only one I wanted to be with when it happened.
The second dream was of coarse pointless.
And the last dream I think it was one of two things:
It was eithier a spirit husband trying to defile himself with me…
or
It was withcraft. Someone trying to poison me in my dreams because the guy had an STD. I read about a guy whom had a dream that a old woman was trying to make him eat this black substance. He fought her and hit her hand and the black substance fell on the bed. When he woke upĀ the black substance was on the bed. He told his Pastor about it and the Pastor told him that it was witchcraft and someone was trying to poison him and put a curse on him. Maybe someone was trying to curse me, but who?
I know I haven’t been praying like I should. Maybe that’s why I was attacked becauseĀ I usually pray for angels to watch over me, a wall of fire to surround me and the blood of Jesus to cover me before I sleep. I haven’t done that it inĀ almost a week because of something that happened. I need to get back on the grind with God again.
What a night huh? The End of Times…A voyage to Africa…Beating a guy unconcious. And I thought when I went to sleep I was actually going to get some rest!
Sometimes My Dreams Scare Me
One Remark |I had two weird dreams last night….
The first dream was a typical dream. I was either riding a bike or driving down this street called Noble Rd. I looked to my left and saw a man in a black police uniform standing in front of these apartments. He was so tall he could touch the roof of the apartments. He looked like a giant. I noticed like 5 other people that tall on Noble they were all men. As I drove farther down Noble I saw lots and lots of people walking. Some were just getting out of a brawl, others were just walking. I noticed the strangely tall men were increasing in number the further I went. I then saw a friend of mine named Danielle that I used to go to school with. She was just as prissy as she was when she was in school. I stopped her gave her a hug and we started talking about boots because she was wearing these weird pink boots with lace on them.
The second dream seems to be a recurring dream. I’ve had this dream several times. It’s always a different atmosphere and different people, but I’m always doing the same thing.
I was in my Mom’s house and I can’t remember what I was there for, that part is cloudy to me, even after just waking from the dream. My Dad was yelling at my older brother about feeding some dog. I heard my brother saying the dog was owned by someone he knew. The dog was making this strange noise. It sounded like it was crying. My brother kept saying it was because the dog hadn’t had any food and this was the first time it had food in a while. I was listening to this whole conversation from the living room. My brother was in the kitchen, the dog was outside and my Dad was in the dining room.
I kept hearing the crying and it started to sound like a child crying. Something said for me to go and see for myself. When I did I walked into the kitchen and my older brother was lying on his stomach on the floor. A little girl was on his back crying. For some reason I knew this child was possessed by a demon and that’s why she was crying. So I began to cast the demon from her speaking a very powerful prayer that will deliver her from it. I then woke up because what I was doing scard me.
I’ve had several dreams where I’m casting demons from people. In the dreams the way I pray is nothing like I pray in my waking life. The words I speak and the way they are spoken are so rich and powerful. In my waking life I’m afraid to pray in front of people. I’m scared because I can’t think of what next to say. I’ll refuse to pray in front of anyone out loud. When I pray silently the words flow like water without interruption, but they still aren’t as powerful as the dream Samara’s words are. Those dreams scare me. Not because of the people whom are possessed, but because of what I am responsible for and what I’m doing in the dream.
This time I’m stuck…I still don’t know what it means. I know dreams are usually symbolic and things in a dream usually represent something, but this dream I have no clue were to start interpreting. I have no idea.